Joanna Geller, PhD
The U.S. Surgeon General’s office recent advisory, “Parents Under Pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health & Well-Being of Parents,” shares the alarming statistic that 41% of parents say their days are so stressful they cannot function. In contrast, only 20% of other adults report this to be true.
On the morning that we brought our first son home from the hospital, a lactation consultant warned me to prepare myself for “all-day café,” an inviting euphemism that really means the mother must breastfeed her hungry baby all day and all night. That night, I was exhausted and sore from childbirth, but I worked hard to follow orders. But as the hours ticked on, the cries of our tiny new human grew louder. Finally, at 4am, my husband and I decided to shut down “all-day café,” and we watched with relief as our son chugged a bottle of formula. He then fell into a peaceful sleep, and so did we. Years later, after finally connecting with other mothers, I learned how common our experience was, how often mothers are sent home from the hospital, in great pain and with drastic hormonal changes, with guidance on caring for their baby that neglects their own physical and mental health and well-being.
This is why I am ecstatic parental well-being is in the spotlight. The Surgeon General’s advisory highlights many sorely needed action steps, including expanding access to mental health care, paid family leave, and peer support programs. I want to call attention to one action step that is nestled among many, but should truly be the guiding strategy underlying all other action steps: “Elevate the voices of parents and caregivers to shape community programs and investments.” The recommendation calls to “utilize parent advisory groups and other models to involve parents and caregivers in all phases of programming, from ideation to implementation.”
When parents connect with one another, they soon realize that the problems for which they blamed themselves are shared among many. They’re not the only family who has had a terrible time getting their child with special needs the services to which they are entitled, who can’t find a spot in affordable child care or summer camp, who is frustrated with rearranging their schedule to attend a school meeting only to learn there is no interpreter. Parents feel relief and affirmation when they learn they are not alone, but social connections in of themselves do not solve the root problem. The broken system remains.
Parents want to change these broken systems, but they are rarely invited to join this process, and they typically don’t know how to start on their own. When parents are invited to participate on advisory councils, they are often faced with language, transportation, scheduling, and child care barriers. Or, they lack the knowledge about the system and the professional jargon to be taken seriously. So, they don’t show up or stop showing up, and the misconception is that they simply don’t want to be involved.
Fortunately, we know what excellent parent leadership looks like and what we need to do. I have worked with and studied parent leadership organizations for a decade. These organizations develop parents’ leadership skills and knowledge to work collectively toward racial, social, or economic justice. After building trust among families, they help them understand how the system works – how policy decisions happen, who holds power, and their rights as parents. They offer an affirming and supportive space to practice civic skills, such as testifying at a public hearing, facilitating a meeting, and making a quick pitch for a new idea. Newly equipped with civic knowledge and skills, parents become a wealth of knowledge to help other parents navigate the system or join in collective action for change.
Not only do parent leaders create better schools and more well-informed communities, but agency is a powerful lever for improved mental health. Consistently on surveys we have conducted across many of these organizations, more than two-thirds of parents report that their leadership experience improved their physical, mental, and emotional health. Isolation and hopelessness are replaced by community and purpose. Nearly half of the parents report furthering their education or advancing their career.
Therefore, the outcomes of parent leadership are multifold. So, how do we ensure more parents are driving solutions?
First, fund community-based organizations that develop parents’ leadership. There are hundreds of community-based organizations and governmental agencies that know how to do this. We have started tracking these organizations in a Parent Power Map and Directory. These organizations need skilled staff who can support parents, build community across difference, and develop civic knowledge and skills. Additionally, parents need resources like childcare, meals, and interpretation to be able to participate fully.
Second, schools and districts should embed parent leadership and decision-making into their strategic plans, asking: How can parent leadership be a strategy that advances our core academic goals? Some districts have parent universities that train parents on their rights, how the system works, and how they can get involved. Other districts partner with community-based organizations to offer these workshops. District staff can work with a group of families to complete this self-assessment to identify steps to bolster family leadership.
Third, developing the capacity of professionals to engage parent leaders should be part of training programs for jobs like school principals, school family engagement coordinators, and agency and non-profit staff. The National Association for Family, School, and Community Engagement elevates the many core competencies needed for family-facing professionals, but found that fewer than 40% believed their training fully covered these competencies.
Parents are a critical constituency for the change we need to see in the world. They are deeply motivated to create a better world for their children. Let’s give them the tools they need to turn that motivation into action. In the process, they not only help our future, but help themselves, too.
