“My kid needs me every day… my kid needs me to be there for him… it's important to show him that I show up.” - Nathaniel
By: Danielle M. Perry, PhD
Nearly 10 years ago, my dissertation “We have to learn how to transition with our children”: Parenting Practices that Promote School Readiness Among Low-Income Black Families in a Head Start Program captured the stories of Black families as they prepared their children to be academically, socially, and emotionally ready for school success. In these stories, families recalled the historical practices, passed down throughout generations on how to navigate and persist in systems that often-perpetuated negative stereotypes about the ways in which Black families engage in their children’s educational process both inside and outside of schooling spaces.
Throughout my dissertation, I recounted stories on the unique cultural practices that guided 20 families. One of the most salient findings was the overwhelming presence of Black fathers who were engaged in the day-to-day activities of their children’s educational success. Mainstream perceptions would have you believe that many Black households are absent of fathers (Cooper, Smith, Burnett, McBride, & Supple, 2021). Yet, the data shows us that Black fathers are not only present and active in their own homes, but often serve as father figures in their communities as well (Curtis, Grinnell-Davis, & Alleyne-Green, 2017; Cooper et. al., 2021).
Black fathers and social father-figures play a critical role in their families and communities. Data shows us that when fathers are present, we see better socioemotional skill development, physical and psychological wellbeing, and academic outcomes (Campbell & Alston, 2026; Harmon, James, Young & Scott, 2023). Specifically in children with consistent father engagement, we see higher levels of interpersonal skills, emotional regulation, and a stronger sense of self-assurance (Powe, de Abril Cameron, Tan, Alston, & Bellamy, 2025). Black men, whether they are biologically related to the children or not, play a vital role in fostering cultural identity and self-esteem, mechanism for coping, and help mitigate the effects of adverse outcomes (Durnell, Dlamini & McDougal 2018).
More than half of the families whose stories I shared in my dissertation reported that Black fathers, whether they resided in the same home as their children or not, were extremely active in helping to prepare their children for educational success. Mothers reported:
Dinitra: He used to help with homework and stuff like that.
Yvonne: Redirecting him.
Ayana: His dad does [everything I do]. But, I think his dad just talk to him more about [kindergarten] and what to expect. His dad does read with him, and make sure his homework and stuff is done.
Ariana: He will read with her. He has her do spelling tests. He will write new words for her. He will do a lot of arts and crafts, which causes critical thinking…He’s the one who actually started her with the writing and the spelling and the math. I just follow along.
Ebonie: If I’m not doing it, he’s doing it. You know, we both interact with helping him learn. He reads to him. He actually helps him play basketball too. So yeah, they do a lot of activities.
Janay: He bought her a little educational game. He plays [the game] with her.
This engagement was intergenerational. The mothers also spoke on the ways their own fathers supported their academic aspirations, and continued that same practice with their grandchildren:
Kendra: My father was a very strict parent. He taught me, if you don’t like your grade now, you do what you have to do to get it higher… he raised four kids by himself… [his advice] definitely helps me and motivates me to raise my boys.
Ayana: My mother and my father, they both were involved with things that were in the school. My dad…he just wanted you to be successful. He just wanted you to be better than what he was or did.
Shontel: My grandfather made it a big deal about education and gave us examples about if you drop out of high school, you’ll be making this kind of money and the rest of your life, you’re going to be working. It convinced me to finish what I’m starting.
These reflections align with national data trends that report Black fathers, more than any other racial or ethnic group, are more engaged in day-to day activities of their children, including participating in daily hygiene practices, meal time activities, social/ extracurricular activities, and homework support (Seward, 2023).
Nathaniel and Anthony, two parent leaders actively engaged in advocating for safer schools and communities for children and families recently shared their stories on showing up in these spaces as Black men. Nathaniel, who’s raising his son as the sole parent, shared:
Black fathers are so stereotyped that when I walk into my son's school, they look surprised every time. Like, oh, this Black man showed up… this is weird. Where’s the mom at?
The perception that he doesn’t belong is not only uncomfortable, but also discouraging. However, Nathaniel shared that this doesn’t stop him from showing up because he knows that his son “needs me to be there for him.” He continues:
Being a Black man in general we're already stigmatized in a lot of spaces. More Black men showing up, speaking up, and being a part of these movements…it definitely changes that narrative.
Anthony spoke to creating a legacy through his advocacy:
I was put here to do something to make this world a little better, or a lot better. You know, to be able to leave a legacy of good deeds. So, that definitely influences how I show up as a leader. How I show up as a parent. How I show up as a person.
Now, more than ever, it’s increasingly important to recognize the ways in which fathers are present in the family engagement and parent leadership landscape. In their homes, communities, and schools, they play a pivotal role in shaping the outcomes of children. As national attention on the work of families and the ways that families could and should be engaged in their child’s education continues, I implore you to center the stories and experiences of fathers.
In closing, I leave you with the testimonies of Black men who share what fatherhood means to them:
What being a Black father means to me having all girls is, I have to show them how a man is supposed to act and not act and how to be accountable for your actions. I have let them know the fight that we as Black men have to go through every day and to never forget your history in this country. -James
It means being there for your children and never giving up on them because no matter what obstacles the world may throw our way we can overcome it. -Cameron
What being a Black Father means to me is being a safe place for my kids to seek whenever they may need it. -Terrance
Fatherhood for me has been a catalyst for healing. I needed to find gentleness, courage, and strength to not only be a good parent but to become a better person. I asked myself, “who is the man that my children are going to look at, and can they respect that man?” -Chernoh
To be a Black Father is to inherit the gift and the curse. The shadow of the weighty chains of double consciousness while being expected to bring out the sunshine of your bloodline--body, soul and mind. -Trev M.
Being a single father is one of the most challenging journeys a person can face. There are times when you have no choice but to sit back and wait for things to unfold, all while carrying the weight of your children’s mental health and the struggles of the community around them. The hardest part is remaining strong when the people you love need time, patience, and support more than immediate solutions. -Chaise
References
Campbell, E., & Alston, M. D. S. (2026). Presence Matters: Perceptions of Emotional and Social Involvement of Black Fathers. Journal of Family Issues, 0192513X251414617.
Cooper, S. M., Smith, N. A., Burnett, M., McBride, M., & Supple, A. (2021). Stereotype awareness and Black fathers’ paternal engagement: At the nexus of racial and fathering identities. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 22(3), 443.
Curtis, C. A., Grinnell-Davis, C., & Alleyne-Green, B. (2017). The effects of father figure involvement on educational outcomes in black adolescents. Journal of black studies, 48(6), 591-609.
Durnell, E., Dlamini, P. Z., & McDougal, S. (2018). Social father presence: The experience of being raised by Black social fathers. Journal of Pan African Studies, 11(7), 1-24.
Harmon Jr, W. C., James, M., Young, J., & Scott, L. (2023). Black fathers rising: A quantcrit analysis of Black fathers’ paternal influence on sons’ engagement and sense of school belonging in high school. Equity & Excellence in Education, 56(3), 464-478.
Jones, J., & Mosher, W. D. (2013). Fathers' involvement with their children: United States, 2006-2010. US Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics
Powe, P. M., de Abril Cameron, F., Tan, A., Alston, T., & Bellamy, J. (2025). If you Build it (with them in Mind), They’re more likely to Come: A qualitative study informing Black father engagement in early childhood home visiting programs. Children and Youth Services Review, 172, 108256.
Seward, L. (2023, June 30). Black dads more involved in children's lives than other groups. ABC10. https://www.abc10.com/article/news/community/race-and-culture/black-dads-more-involved-in-childrens-lives-than-other-groups/103-df371add-144c-40e3-bb3c-986377347fa1