Featured Alumni Profiles

Lawrence Birnbach and Beverly Hyman

Lawrence Birnbach, MA '74, PhD '80, Psychology, GSAS Post-Doc '87 in Psychoanalysis and Beverly Hyman, PhD '80, Media, Culture, and Communication

Husband-wife team, Lawrence Birnbach, MA '74, PhD ‘80,psychoanalyst specializing in troubled relationships, and Beverly Hyman, PhD '80, business and organizational consultant and member of the Steinhardt Dean's Council, announce their new book:

How to Know if it's Time to Go
A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage
By Dr. Lawrence Birnbach and Dr. Beverly Hyman

How to Know if it's Time to Go is a controversial look at whether a marriage can be saved-or if it's "time to go." Because guilt and fear abound when faced with the difficult decision to get a divorce, most people wrestle with the question for years. Are the hard times just a phase or a sign of a bigger problem? How to Know if it's Time to Go (March 2010 / $14.95 / 9781402766435 / Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.) written by a husband and wife team of marriage experts, is the first book to guide those wrestling with this decision by providing a ten step program to determine if a relationship has truly reached its breaking point. How to Know offers comfort and answers to the questions so many avoid:

1. Determine: Is my marriage unhappy? How unhappy am I?
2. Ask yourself: Is our parenting faltering?
3. Look at your children right now: Is our unhappy family affecting their school performance, behavior and self esteem?
4. Face the truth: What is the quality of our sexual life? Have we maintained emotional intimacy in our marriage?
5. Assess: Is marital stress affecting my physical and mental health? My Children?
6. Take an inventory: What are my fears about separating and divorcing? What stigma and shame do I fear from my family, friends, religion and family?
7. Evaluate your situation realistically: If I divorce, what do I fear will happen to my children?
8. Face your fears: What financial repercussions of separation and divorce frighten me?
9. Take another inventory: Have I exhausted every remedy to heal my marriage?
10. Decide: What is my plan?

While Drs. Birnbach and Hyman do not advocate divorce, they point out that the most desirable situation-a happy long-term marriage-may simply not be possible in some cases. The book also discusses how the lives of people who stay in chronically unhappy marriages compare with those who split up.

How to Know if it's Time to Go is filled with poignant case studies, cutting-edge research, A Marriage Bill of Rights and a 100-question self-assessment to determine the problem areas in a marriage and their possible solutions. This unique guide dispels the myths about divorce and enables readers to recognize if there is still hope and how to rekindle it or if they are better off apart.

For the millions caught in unhappy marriages, How to Know if it's Time to Go will truly be a life saver!

About the Authors:
Dr. Lawrence Birnbach is a psychoanalyst who specializes in working with individuals and couples in troubled relationships with practices in Manhattan and Westport, CT. He has had an ongoing mental health column in The Westport News and is a frequent speaker on this subject.

Dr. Beverly Hyman is an internationally known business and organizational consultant specializing in conflict management. She is a consultant to several United Nations agencies, through which she is involved in addressing the concerns of women and families. Dr. Hyman has been a featured speaker at national and international conferences. The authors, each of whom has a daughter from a prior marriage, were both divorced before they were married to each other in 1997.